Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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