sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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