What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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