get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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