You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
