I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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