Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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