i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
MIDGETS
????
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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