RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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