we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
