if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
