take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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