High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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