weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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