He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
