You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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