scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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