We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Acid is not a monday night drug
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
