She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize