oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
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