eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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