i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
