Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
