Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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