I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize