so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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