guys are not supposed to queef...right?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
