so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
