You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
