Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
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