So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
