You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
