Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
