Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize