So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
