i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
