Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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