apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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