I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
