dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
