I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
and you fell through a lawn chair
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