end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
