Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
