i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
