let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize