Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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