capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
