So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
