She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
