Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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