i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
