How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize