She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
