Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Holy sore nipples Batman
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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