I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I deserve this hangover.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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