haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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