She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
