I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
